So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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