walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
