Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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