If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
