so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Boobs speak an international language.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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