Farmville is her only friend.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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