Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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