Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
