The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
