So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
