I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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