I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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