WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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