She is in my trunk
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
operation harelip BJ is a go
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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