if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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