This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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