a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
what is it with giant penises always finding me
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
