worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
