Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
