thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
