I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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