my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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