she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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