Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
high people should be assigned attendants
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
