Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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