Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
