who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
