I am puke
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
