My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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