dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
