two words...techno handjob
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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