If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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