just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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