If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
