I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
