you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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