Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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