i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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