i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
