Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
