I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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