Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
