Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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