Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
