you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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