Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
