I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
