hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She's the barista slut.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
