We won't sleep together?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
