Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
